FutureMe

I just got back from the hair salon and was planning on posting a picture of my new hair when I checked my email and got an email from the past. Check this out. I surprise myself sometimes. It's just the kind of boost I needed now that I'm getting nervous to go off to Tisch in a few days.

My relationships with these people have changed very much in the past year, but this has reminded me of what's really important, sometimes.
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The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on Sunday, October 25, 2009, and sent via FutureMe.org
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Hey girl hey -

A few months ago I got a different FutureMe email and it pretty much made my week. I recognized the girl writing that letter but she seemed like someone entirely separate from myself, like it was impossible to have ever been the same person. But I was alive and well, still, and realizing that gave me a smile and some hope.

It's October 25, 2009, 11:27am. I'm sitting in dad's recliner watching Liverpool play Manchester United. I'm home for the first time in months, and it feels so good.

I'm writing to remind you of something I've learned over the past month, because I feel like it's one of the most important things I will ever learn. It isn't fair how I had to learn it, none of it is fair, but I want to make sure I never forget it. I know I probably won't, but I know how things change in a year.

It's been just over three weeks since Mike killed himself. Just over three weeks since that hideous, horrible Saturday morning where life froze and I couldn't breathe. I want to tell you that you're not going to forget him. You're never going to be completely okay with how you never said sorry for being so naive and angry, you'll never be okay with ignoring him at Delaney's that Tuesday, never going to find a way to come to terms with your justified anger and your incredible sorrow all at once.

But life goes on, no matter what. You put on a bangin show that next week - you rocked Desdemona and got yourself an Irene Ryan nomination for it. Classes continue, shows must go on, tears will fall. But you're still okay. Times can be shittier than you can imagine, but you'll be okay, even when you can't imagine how.

(You are a wonderful young actress. Stop being afraid to accept it - never stop working your ass off, but don't cut yourself short. Keep on going, don't you ever stop.)

When you get this, call someone you love. Text them, call them, email them, go see them, for all I care. But remember that in that time of desperate sadness and broken-hearted emptiness, you had each other. You had Kerry and DMD and Eric and Anthony and Jason and Billy. Never miss a chance to show someone how much you care. Forgive; don't forget, but forgive. You don't know how much time anyone has. Love like you don't have any more time. Appreciate the people in your life. Live each day like sundown is your last.

I love you. You love I. Take care of yourself, love the girl you are, whoever she is. She's special. You're beautiful. And as I write that, I truly believe it, so when you read this, you'd better damn well believe it.

See you on the flip side, ginger.

Love,
Me