Thoughts

Les Blancs only needed two women and they called back three, so one of us had to go, and I wasn't surprised that it was me - I don't think it's possible for a director who loves his students as much as Dr. Bill does, and who has worked with them since they were my age, could have denied either one of them their final senior show. I thought about it after callbacks and realized I would have felt guilty of taking that away from them; If in four years from now I only have one more show left and some spunky little upstart freshman snagged a role from me, I won't be too happy. But Bethany and Victoria both deserve the roles they got, and I am so happy for them. I'm really incredibly okay with the final cast - I want the seniors to have this last chance to shine in college. I'm just starting - as much as I want to get back onstage and to prove myself, I am brand new here and already I've been acknowledged incredibly for what I can do. It may be tough, but I can wait. My friends here have all been informing me that, for the next three years, the stage will be mine, and although I don't want to wait, I think I can hold on just a little bit longer. I say this now. In a week I'll be bitching and moaning again.

I love them all so very much, and I really don't want them to go. They've got to, though. Most of them have been here too long as it is, and though I would have given anything to be onstage with them, I tried, and not this time.

I'm better about these auditions because last time it was rigged and really messed up, but I did what I set out to do here. I shook it up - everyone thought they knew the final score, but callbacks tonight were really nerve-wracking. No one had a clue what was going to happen. I have, with one show and a few auditions, established myself here. That's why I'm happy, for the time being. I'm nineteen years old and have done more for my acting in a year than I thought it was possible. There are opportunities in my future, and as much as I don't want to wait anymore, it's sitting within my reach now.