Jigsaw

So today was my first full day back in NYC for classes, and as I walked down the sidewalks in 20 degree weather, hurdling snowbanks to get to buses and wondering if my earmuffs were too brightly colored, I realized something amazing.

It felt wonderful to be back in Connecticut. I love my family more than anything else in the world. I already miss my cats. But I quickly realized that the feeling deep inside of me, and the warmth that made me not care how cold my fingers were or whether my eyeballs were freezing, was a pure happiness I have not felt in a long time, or ever realized I was feeling. I could only describe it as being a puzzle piece and having finally slipped into the correct place. This city, with all of its madness and stress and noise and grime, is truly where my heart belongs. It felt so good to just be alive and young and going about a new routine, walking the streets I know so well. It's good to be home.

I had my first voice lesson of the semester today, which was interesting because it was the first intense vocal session I've had since my surgery. Doc says I can sing and dance, so I'm gonna try. Nora said I sounded very good, and that sometimes a break from singing is actually a good thing. My resonance is still there, I still have to work on breathing (but that's not a surprise, I suck at proper breathing), and I can sing for short periods of time without it bothering my ear too much. The resonance in my head did end up being a lot at once for my ear, so we called it quits a little early and grabbed coffee across the street.

No matter how much I want to jump right back in, I need to make sure I take the time to fully heal and let my body readjust to the way it has been fixed. As small as it is, it is still a brand new part of me (Gentleman, we can rebuild her. We have the technology...), and I still have to get used to how I'm hearing and how my eardrum works while it's still repairing itself. Eventually I won't even be able to tell it was ever damaged, but for now, my body's focus is healing my ear and adjusting until it is repaired. So I'm going to take it easy with vocalizing, along with dance. The heart rate speeding up and pounding blood through my head and ear might be a lot while it's healing, so I'll do as much as I feel comfortable with. It should be so much better by next week, and I don't want to unnecessarily damage it or hinder the healing process.

I also had my first Contemporary American Playwrights class, which has the potential to be one of the best courses I have ever taken in college. My professor is Steven Drukman, the epitome of excellent teacher. He's extremely intelligent, extremely articulate, extremely interesting, and creative and funny. Aside from the subject matter being very interesting to me, he conducts the class and the discussions and lecture in such an accessible way. Incredible teacher. I'd heard great things about him, and now I understand why.

Tomorrow starts up studio again, and I'm thrilled and anxious. How will my ear affect these classes? Have I forgotten everything? How behind am I? Can I fulfill my own personal goals of excelling? I have a positive feeling, now that I'm back, I just want to be able to maintain it. But I know I have an incredible support system among my classmates and professors and family and friends, so let's give 2011 another shot and a better start than I've had so far. :)

Sending everyone following the Spotlight all my love from the Big Apple! Muah!