Learning is what I'm doing.
Had my first big emotional breakdown/breakthrough while rehearsing with Mary this evening - with all of the blocks and knots and armor I've been discovering, being able to undo it enough to feel and release was a surprise. I knew when I got to this point it was going to be rough, but man, this was like jumping in front of a bus. My knees gave out, I couldn't stand, couldn't move, couldn't see, was literally a snotty, sobbing mess. And this was just the first time letting some real emotion break through while doing repetition work. It was scary, and I'm exhausted, but I feel a little purged; calmer than I was, comforted that, yeah, I've got issues, but they aren't completely debilitating. I can still tap into emotion.
But hell, man, that was ROUGH. Awesome, but ROUGH.
I love my art. So. Fucking. Much.
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